Has anyone ever seen the show That Girl. It started in 1966. My mom recently bought season 1, and we've been watching it. Basically it's about a girl named Ann (Marlo Thomas - who plays Rachel's mom in Friends), who decides to move to New York to start a new life on her own away from her parents. Back then, that was pretty weird to do, because girls just didn't do that. They met a man and married and became a housewife. My mom had made the comment that when she watched this show when she was young, she wanted to be Ann. And let me tell you, even though it's 2011, I want to be just like her. So this show is what has started this imagination of mine. I'm really not the type to just get up and move to a city I've never lived in and find a job or go to school all alone. I realize I'm not as independent as I'd like to be, but I've definitely gotten better. I've just been thinking lately that I think I will regret never doing anything more with my life. I have grown up in Austin and I've never left, except for that year and a half in Abilene, which I realize is still SOMETHING but definitely not what I'm talking about. So, I started thinking, what would I do if I did have the personality that could just get up and go. I would love to be strong enough to move to like Seattle, New York, or Colorado and find a job and just live. Find some cool new friends. JUST BE. But let me tell you, while the idea sounds AMAZING, it freaks me out like no other.
Truthfully, one of the reasons this sounds so appealing is because I have so many memories here in Austin that I want to forget. I have MANY more memories that I don't want to forget, but I'm kind of ready to wipe the slate clean and move on with my life somewhere new. I want to get away from some things. I don't really feel like I'm able to move on with my life living here. This leads me to my next point. All of my friends are doing something with their life. I've got one friend who's going to China to teach english for a year. I've got another who is getting a double major and when he graduates has decided he's going to move to LA to basically do what I want to do (only problem is he has a ton of contacts there to help him figure stuff out). I've got married friends. One of my friends is married with a kid already. One friend plans on getting engaged/married in the upcoming year. I just feel like I'm kind of settling. Like I'm kind of doing the most comfortable thing possible and not really doing what I want to do because I'm too afraid. And I just know that I will regret that when I'm older and can't do this. And you know, I'm single, I have no responsibility to anyone, except Noah, who will be coming with me of course, so it just seems like the best time to do it before I have a life that will make it even more difficult. The only thing really holding me back is my fear. My parents are on board. They even encourage it, especially my mom, who, as I said earlier, wished she had done something like it.
So I have a lot of thinking to do in the next few months. I'm about to start my last semester of college. I graduate in December and I need to come up with a plan. So if anyone out there has any advice, I'm all ears, because I truthfully don't even know where to start. I'm so terrified that I'm probably going to try and convince myself to not really take the steps. So I need encouragement. I don't think I could say it enough. I. Am. Terrified. One thing everyone can do however? Pray for me. Pray I figure out exactly where God wants me, because that's the most important thing. That I end up where He wants me to.
"C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're shoe, you're a shoe!' And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse, y'know? Or a hat!' No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!"
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